Changing

Hi,
I named this blog changing because I am in the middle of changing myself. I had Lap Band surgery in Aug 09, and I am working to change my body and hopefully I will change the way I feel about myself.

There is alot to changing oneself after having this surgery. First you deal with the surgery itself. By that I mean you have 5 scars on your abdomen from where the doctor went in and did the surgery. I had some pain, but I was surprised that it was not that much. I really don't like looking in the mirror, partly because I don't like to look at myself, but also seeing these scars is troubling for me. it's a reminder that I failed to keep myself healthy and now need this help to get that way again.

Then you have to deal with going to the doctor every couple of weeks or whatever schedule they put you on and get "fills". These are when the doc goes in with a syringe and puts saline in the "port" that you have to make the band smaller, in effect making your stomach smaller. By the time they are done with fills, the passage from your pouch to your stomach is approximately the size of a #2 pencil.

That leads us to the next part. Eating. This is the hard part for me. If you eat too much, it hurts and sometimes you throw up. that sux. But also, if you're like me and eat too fast, the same thing hurts. I'm ex-military, you get no time to eat, so you eat fast. I'm also a nurse, again, no time to eat, so you eat fast. Pain, pain, pain. But to me, it's absolutely worth it. I've lost about 65lbs to date and I'm just keepin on keepin on.

Last thing, skin. This part really sux, because if you're really big, you end up with a lot of extra skin that exercising will only take care of part. That means you're eventually gonna have to have another surgery, like a tummy tuck or something. I hate surgery, but I'm not there yet. I just started going to the gym and working out, and I must say, even though the new workout pain is there, I really am enjoying going to the gym.

If anyone actually reads this, and you are thinking about this kinda surgery, I very highly recommend it, but you need to seriously talk to your doc and think and pray about it. I hope someone reads this, but if not that's ok, it's mostly for me anyway. Thx if you do read.

Chris.